September 2003
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Jim Purbrick
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks J C Lawrence
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Bruce Mitchener
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Jim Purbrick
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Bruce Mitchener
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks J C Lawrence
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Roy Riggs
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Jim Purbrick
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Sean Kelly
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Mike Shaver
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Eamonn O'Brien
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks ceo
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks ceo
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Lazarus
- [TECH] Server Bottlenecks Jeff Thompson
- [Tech] Garbage collection Brian Hook
- [Tech] Garbage collection Lars Duening
- [Tech] Garbage collection Bruce Mitchener
- [Tech] Garbage collection Jay Carlson
- TECH: Question about Bartle's new book Christer Enfors
- TECH: Question about Bartle's new book Richard A. Bartle
- Generating Cities John Arras
- Load Testing a MUD sszretter@hotmail.com
- Load Testing a MUD Ren Reynolds
- Load Testing a MUD Ben Greear
- Load Testing a MUD Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- Load Testing a MUD Matthew D. Fuller
- Load Testing a MUD Marc Bowden
- Load Testing a MUD Lars Duening
- Load Testing a MUD Marc Bowden
- [DGN] Writing... a mud... erich-herz@uiowa.edu
- [DGN] Writing... a mud... Amanda Walker
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Yaka St.Aise
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Matt Mihaly
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Yaka St.Aise
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Michael Chui
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Amanda Walker
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Matthew Dobervich
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Justin Randall
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Yaka St.Aise
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Chris Duesing
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Crosbie Fitch
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Yaka St.Aise
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. John Buehler
- [DGN]: Ludicrous scheme. Ola Fosheim Grøstad
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Corpheous Andrakin
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Scott Jennings
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matthew Dobervich
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Daniel Anderson
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Mike Shaver
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Daniel Stahl
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Tamzen Cannoy
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Mike Shaver
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? ceo
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Nathan Yospe
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Linder Support Team
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Marian Griffith
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Michael Chui
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Paul Schwanz
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? J C Lawrence
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Amanda Walker
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Jeff Cole
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Jeff Cole
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Amanda Walker
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Marian Griffith
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Jeff Cole
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Michael Chui
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Marian Griffith
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Jeff Cole
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? ceo
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? ceo
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Scott Jennings
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Daniel Anderson
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Scott Jennings
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? ren@aldermangroup.com
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Dave Rickey
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Baar - Lord of the Seven Suns
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Michael Chui
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ryan S. Dancey
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Hans-Henrik Staerfeldt
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? John Buehler
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Dave Rickey
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Matt Mihaly
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Amanda Walker
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Amanda Walker
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Amanda Walker
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Marian Griffith
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Chris Mancil
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Zach Collins {Siege}
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ren Reynolds
- BIZ: Who owns my sword? Tamzen Cannoy
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Daniel Anderson
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Koster, Raph
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Scott Jennings
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Martin Bassie
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Chris Holko
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? burra@alum.rpi.edu
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Scott Jennings
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Daniel Anderson
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Matt Mihaly
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Threshold RPG
- Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever? Jason Smith
- MUD-Dev Digest, Vol 4, Issue 5 Jessica Mulligan
- [Tech] Functional languages Brian Hook
- [Tech] Functional languages ceo
- [Tech] Functional languages Brian Hook
- [Tech] Functional languages Kim
- [Tech] Functional languages J C Lawrence
- [Tech] Functional languages Joshua Judson Rosen
- [Tech] Functional languages sproctor@ccs.neu.edu
- SW:G Matt Mihaly
- Grief teaching? (Was: Why doesn't Lineage count asthe most pop burra@alum.rpi.edu
- Grief teaching? (Was: Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever?) ghovs
- Grief teaching? (Was: Why doesn't Lineage count as the most popular MMOG ever?) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- R: MUD-Dev Digest, Vol 4, Issue 5 Ghilardi Filippo
- Ghostmode (was: SW:G) Lars Duening
- Ghostmode (was: SW:G) Michael Tresca
- Ghostmode (was: SW:G) Marian Griffith
- MUD-Dev Digest, Vol 4, Issue 5 Crosbie Fitch
- BIZ: Who holds your cahonas in their hand? (runs your infrastructure...; ) ceo
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Tess Lowe
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Vladimir Cole
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Erik Bethke
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Erik Bethke
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Corpheous Andrakin
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Mike Shaver
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Vladimir Cole
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Lars Duening
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Peter Harkins
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Lars Duening
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Marian Griffith
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Scott Moore
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Justin Coleman
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) David Cooksey
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Marian Griffith
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Rayzam
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Rayzam
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Marian Griffith
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Rayzam
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Corpheous Andrakin
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Spot
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Acius
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Rayzam
- ghost mode (was SW:G) J C Lawrence
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Mike Shaver
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Smith, David {Lynchburg}
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Eli Stevens
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Rayzam
- ghost mode (was SW:G) John Buehler
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Vladimir Cole
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Mike Shaver
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- [DGN]: Ludicrous speed. Chris Duesing
- [DGN]: Ludicrous speed. Michael Chui
- [DGN]: Ludicrous speed. Yaka St.Aise
- [DGN]: Ludicrous speed. Michael Chui
- [DGN]: Ludicrous speed. Yaka St.Aise
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Xyrrus
- Ghost Mode Pat Ditterline
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and standard deviation) Crosbie Fitch
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and sta ndard deviation) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and standard deviation) John Buehler
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and sta ndard deviation) Katie Lukas
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and sta ndard deviation) Paul Schwanz
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and sta ndard deviation) Amanda Walker
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and standard deviation) Crosbie Fitch
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and sta ndard deviation) Matt Mihaly
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and standard deviation) Kerry Fraser-Robinson
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and sta ndard deviation) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and standard deviation) Torgny Bjers
- Player malleable worlds (was expected value and standard deviation) Chanur Silvarian
- Player malleable worlds (was expected value and standard deviation) Corpheous Andrakin
- Player malleable worlds (was expected value and sta ndard deviation) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value and sta ndard deviation) Sean Kelly
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value andstandard deviation) Richard
- ghost mode Tess Lowe
- ghost mode Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode Mike Shaver
- ghost mode Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- ghost mode Vincent Archer
- ghost mode Tess Lowe
- ghost mode Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- ghost mode Corey Crawford
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- ghost mode Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode ceo
- ghost mode Rayzam
- ghost mode Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode Rayzam
- ghost mode Tess Lowe
- ghost mode David Cooksey
- ghost mode Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode Tess Lowe
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- ghost mode Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- ghost mode Matt Mihaly
- ghost mode Marian Griffith
- ghost mode Tess Lowe
- ghost mode Richard
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Draymoor {Philip Loguinov}
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Bo Zimmerman
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Frank Crowell
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Crosbie Fitch
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments J C Lawrence
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Crosbie Fitch
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments J C Lawrence
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Crosbie Fitch
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments J C Lawrence
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments J C Lawrence
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Paolo Piselli
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Crosbie Fitch
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments J C Lawrence
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Crosbie Fitch
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments ceo
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Crosbie Fitch
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Pat Ditterline
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Brent P. Newhall
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Hans-Henrik Staerfeldt
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Roy Riggs
- Seamlessly Distributed Online Environments Sean Kelly
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Vladimir Cole
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Amanda Walker
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Derek Licciardi
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Amanda Walker
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Samurai Cat @ Catacombs
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) David Loving
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Samurai Cat! @ Catacombs
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Walton, Gordon
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) David Kennerly
- Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- variable difficulty levels (was: ghost mode) Corey Crawford
- variable difficulty levels (was: ghost mode) David Snyder
- variable difficulty levels (was: ghost mode) Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- variable difficulty levels (was: ghost mode) Michael Tresca
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- Player malleable worlds (was Expected value andstandard deviation) Ren Reynolds
- R: BIZ: Who owns my sword? Ghilardi Filippo
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Chanur Silvarian
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Joshua Uyehara
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Lars Duening
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Rayzam
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Brian Hook
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? J C Lawrence
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Matt Mihaly
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Zach Collins {Siege}
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Matt Mihaly
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Matt Mihaly
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Sheela Caur'Lir
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Lee Sheldon
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? David Cooksey
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Lee Sheldon
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Rayzam
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Kwon J. Ekstrom
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Ben Chambers
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Russ Whiteman
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Ben Chambers
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Russ Whiteman
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Amanda Walker
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Derek Licciardi
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Chanur Silvarian
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Mike Shaver
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Sheela Caur'Lir
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Amanda Walker
- DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Chanur Silvarian
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Crosbie Fitch
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Michael Tresca
- play styles and difficulty settings ceo
- BIZ: Markee Dragon katie@stickydata.com
- BIZ: Markee Dragon Mike Shaver
- BIZ: Markee Dragon Frank Crowell
- BIZ: Markee Dragon Frank Crowell
- BIZ: Markee Dragon Derek Licciardi
- Meta-games (not META list ;)) ceo
- Meta-games (not META list ;)) Crosbie Fitch
- Meta-games (not META list ;)) ceo
- Meta-games (not META list ;)) Mark Cheverton
- Meta-games (not META list ;)) Michael Sellers
- Meta-games (not META list ;)) ceo@grexengine.com
- Meta-games (not META list ;)) ceo
- [DGN]: Ludicrous speed. Yaka St.Aise
- variable difficulty levels Matt Mihaly
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Amanda Walker
- ghost mode (was SW:G) Freeman, Jeff
- Terra Nova, virtual world blog Castronova, Edward
- R: Rewarding Beta Testers (There's Pricing Deal) Ghilardi Filippo
- ghost mode Amanda Walker
- [list] DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Scion Altera
- [list] DGN: Why give the players all thenumbers? Rayzam
- [list] DGN: Why give the players all the numbers? Marian Griffith
- [list] DGN: Why give the players all thenumbers? John Buehler
- ghost mode ceo
- Class hierarchies for objects Brian Hook
- Class hierarchies for objects Bo Zimmerman
- A Theory of Fun Paul Schwanz
- The State of Play: On the Second Life Tax Revolt J C Lawrence
- The State of Play: On the Second Life Tax Revolt F. Randall Farmer
- Hidden Character Attribs Spot
- Hidden Character Attribs Owen Matt
- Hidden Character Attribs Sheela Caur'Lir
- Hidden Character Attribs J C Lawrence
- size Matt Mihaly
- size Daniel.Harman@barclayscapital.com
- size Amanda Walker
- size Matt Mihaly
- size Sheela Caur'Lir
- size Sheela Caur'Lir
- A world without charity Eamonn O'Brien
- A world without charity Corpheous Andrakin
- A world without charity Eamonn O'Brien
- A world without charity Marian Griffith
- A world without charity Matt Mihaly
- A world without charity Mike
- A world without charity Eamonn O'Brien
- A world without charity Castronova, Edward
- A world without charity Erik Bethke
- A world without charity gbtmud
- A world without charity Dave Rickey
- A world without charity ceo@grexengine.com
- A world without charity Samurai Cat @ Catacombs
- A world without charity Crosbie Fitch
- A world without charity Ola Fosheim Grøstad
- A world without charity Jeff Crane
- A world without charity eric
- A world without charity David Cooksey
- A world without charity Eli Stevens
- A world without charity Michael Tresca
- A world without charity Ola Fosheim Grøstad
- A world without charity (was Discussion of MUD system design, development, and implementation) Chanur Silvarian
- In Norrath, Tattoine and Rubi-ka, Just What Are Your Legal Rights? Vladimir Cole
- C# as MUD Language, Linux as platform =?koi8-r?Q?=22?=Andrew Batyuck=?koi8-r?Q?=22=20?=< javaman@mail.ru>
- MUD-Dev Digest, Vol 4, Issue 30 Chanur Silvarian
- The Automated Online Role-Player Michael Tresca
From: http://www.gamespy.com/fargo/august03/autorpg/index.shtml
--<cut>--
The Automated Online Role-Player
It's indistinguishable from live humans!
By Dave "Fargo" Kosak | August 22, 2003
The Autocamp 2000 is ergonomically designed to kill steal and loot
corpses. (Actual photo.)Sure, I love Star Wars Galaxies, the
massively multiplayer RPG. I've written about it on several
occasions. But I'm past that point where I can dedicate my life to a
single game. I'm a very important businessman who does very
important business with very important people at very important
social engagements, such as watching softcore anime with the dudes
in the apartment across from mine.
But, I still want to keep playing. And I want to WIN. I know, I
know, the hardcore among you are saying, "But Fargo, you can't 'win'
an online RPG. That defeats the purpose." To which I respond: I
LIVE to defeat purposes.
And besides, like it or not, people do try to "win" massively
multiplayer RPGs. The rules of engagement are something like this:
If there is a status bar, make it grow bigger
If there is a number, make it higher
If it moves, either get a mission from it or kill it
Which got me to thinking: What if I were to unload the boring parts
of an MMOG off to someone else? For instance, I love running a
business in Star Wars Galaxies, but it's hard to find the time or
the patience to work on my combat skillz. What if someone ELSE
played that part of the game for me?
My first impulse -- to use a room full of small Korean children --
turned out to be a real nightmare. They kept whining and crying and
pointing to their mouths or empty bellies. Who knows what they
wanted? I don't speak Korean. Similarly, they didn't understand me
when I pointed to the computer monitor and said "Lewt! LEWT!" no
matter how loud I shouted it. Clearly I needed a new plan.
Introducing the Autocamp 2000
And so I turned my attention toward robots! Longtime readers may
remember when I subtly and successfully used a robot to write my
column while I camped in a mall waiting for Diablo II to come out. A
similar process could easily play online games for me. After all, I
minored in computer science at a prestigious Liberal Arts
institution. The hardest part of any project such as this is
figuring out the algorithm, but here it is, in its entirety:
The Autocamp 2000 Plays Online RPGs with the following rules:
Join any group that invites you
When in a group, follow behind the leader
Attack any monster you see
Accept all trade requests from other players, then give them a melon
Well, that takes care of 90% of online play. All I would need to do
is stick my character -- Farglik the Mon Calamari -- in a cantina
with a backpack full of melons (ah, sweet delicious fruit!). When I
checked on him a week later he'd be what they call "uber." But
before I got started I had to tackle the tricky part: interaction
with other players. If my automated Farglik didn't respond to
players who talked to him in a meaningful way, the proverbial jig
would be up.
One option was to have my robot randomly bark at people in Mandarin
Chinese. But I opted for a much more graceful algorithm:
The Autocamp 2000 talks to other players with following rules:
If someone says something ending in a question mark, respond by
saying "Dude?"
If someone says something ending in an exclamation point, respond
by saying "Dude!"
If someone says something ending with a period, respond by
randomly saying one of three things: "Okie," "Sure," or "Right
on."
EXCEPTION: If someone says something directly to you by
mentioning your name, respond by saying "Lag."
The many succinct expressions of the Autocamp 2000.(And remember to
accept all trade requests from other players by giving them a
melon.)
My robot was programmed and ready to go. Hell, if I programmed it to
randomly shout "Gimmie buffs!" it would probably pass the turing
test. Satisfied, I sat it in front of the keyboard, made sure my
character had at least fifty melons in his backpack, and then
trudged off to leave it alone for the night.
My character, Farglik the Mon Calamari, waited around in the Cantina
for some adventurers. The following is a log of what transpired:
KillSwitch: [Shouting] Does anyone want to join our hunting party?
Farglik: [Powered by the Autocamp 2000] Dude?
[KillSwitch invites Farglik to join the group.]
[Farglik joins the group]
KillSwitch: We're gonna go hunt wrixes.
Farglik: Right on.
[The group of players runs out of the Cantina, Farglik following
close behind. Farglik shoots at every little monster they pass.]
KillSwitch: Why are you attacking the durneys?
Farglik: Dude?
KillSwitch: The durneys, the little bunny things -- why do you
keep shooting at them?
Farglik: Dude?
Troobacca: [A wookie in the party] My weapon powerup expired, I
need a new one.
Farglik: Sure.
[Troobacca opens a trade with Farglik.] [Farglik hands him a
melon.]
Troobacca: ...what's this?
Farglik: Dude?
Troobacca: You handed me a melon!
Farglik: Dude!
KillSwitch: Knock it off guys, I see some wrixes up ahead. Let's
do this.
Farglik: Right on.
[The group encounters a bunch of dangerous wrixes, but they gang
up and shoot every one of them.]
KillSwitch: We rock!
Farglik: Dude!
Troobacca: We so OWNED them!
Farglik: Dude!
KillSwitch: Uh oh, hang on. Up ahead are some Sharnaff bulls. We
can't handle them, so don't shoot.
Farglik: Okie.
[Confusion in the ranks.[Farglik shoots one of the Sharnaff
bulls. The bull attacks; Trobacca and several other party
members are killed before they beat it.]
KillSwitch: You IDIOT! Farglik why did you shoot at them?
Farglik: Lag.
KillSwitch: Well don't do it again.
Farglik: Sure.
[Farglik shoots at another Sharnaff bull. The entire party is
slaughtered except for Farglik.]
Sweet, delicious melons! Ripe, nutritious, and nearly impossible to
nerf.
[ ... Farglik stands there, alone, for several hours ... ]
[ ... finally, a merchant runs up to him.]
Stingrie: [A Rodian merchant.] Hey man! Would you like to buy a
stimpack?
Farglik: Dude?
Stingrie: A stimpack. It boosts your health by 200 points. I'll
sell it to you for 500 credits.
Farglik: Okie.
[Stingrie opens a trade session.]
[Farglik hands him a melon.]
Stingrie: What the hell is this?
Farglik: Dude?
Stingrie: You handed me a melon.
Farglik: Right on.
Stingrie: I told you 500 credits!
Farglik: Dude!
Stingrie: If it's too expensive, just say so.
Farglik: Sure.
[Stingrie runs away, angry.]
[ ... several more hours pass ...]
[A small hunting party led by Krushmor the Master Rifleman comes
over the ridge and spots Farglik.]
Krushmor: Farglik, what's up? What are you doing way out here?
Farglik: Lag.
Krushmor: We're rooting dralls out of a cave. You should join our
group.
Farglik: Okie.
"Farglik! Please heal me! I'm about to die!"
[Krushmor invites Farglik to join the group.]
[Farglik joins the group and starts following Krushmor around.]
Soop: [The party's medic]. Here, Farglik, let me hand you some
stimpacks.
Farglik: Lag.
Soop: I know, it's pretty bad tonight. Here you go.
Farglik: Right on.
[Soop opens up a trade window and hands Farglik a Stimpack.]
[Farglik hands Soop a melon.]
Soop: Uh ... thanks!
Farglik: Dude!
[The party enters a cave and spends the next two hours brutally
clearing it of creatures, room by room. Everyone gets tons of
XP.]
Krushmor: Aw man, it's getting really late guys. I should go!
Farglik: Dude!
Krushmor: I know, sucks. I'll catch you all later.
Farglik: Sure.
[Krushmor logs off. By default, Farglik is now promoted to group
leader!]
Soop: Well that sucks. What should we hunt next?
Farglik: Dude?
Soop: Let's hunt Slice Hounds!
Farglik: Dude!
Soop: I know an awesome spot. Follow me.
Farglik: Right on.
[The group runs out of the cave, but Farglik, because he is now
group leader, just stands there. Several minutes pass before
Soop returns.]
Soop: Farglik why didn't you come with us?
Farglik: Lag.
Soop: Well catch up when you can.
Farglik: Okie.
[Farglik stands motionless in the cave and eventually the group
disbands. Half an hour passes.]
The Autocamp 2000 can remain calm in any situation.
[Suddenly, one of the game developers, controlling Darth Vader,
enters the cave.]
Darth Vader: Well, my young padawan, we've been watching your
progress for quite some time.
Farglik: Sure.
Darth Vader: You have done well. We have decided to bestow upon
you: Force powers!
Farglik: Okie.
Darth Vader: You will be the most powerful Jedi on the planet!
Farglik: Dude!
[Darth Vader gives Farglik force powers.]
Darth Vader: Would you like my light saber?
Farglik: Dude?
Darth Vader: My light saber. I bestow it onto you.
Farglik: Right on!
[Darth Vader opens up a trade and gives Farglik a light saber.]
[Farglik hands Darth Vader a melon.]
Darth Vader: Thanks, uh, for the ... melon.
Farglik: Sure.
Darth Vader: Well? Aren't you going to try out your new Force powers?
Farglik: Dude?
Darth Vader: Your Force powers! The powers I just gave you!
Farglik: Dude!
Darth Vader: The FORCE, Farglik! Use the Force!
Farglik: Lag.
Darth Vader: Okay, you know what. Just forget the Force
powers. I'm taking them back.
Farglik: Okie.
Darth Vader: And give me back my light saber!
Farglik: Sure.
[Farglik hands Darth Vader a melon.]
[Darth Vader kills Farglik.]
[Farglik respawns in the cloning facility.]
KillSwitch: [In the cloning facility] Whoa! Look who just popped
in. What happened to you, Farglik?
Farglik: Lag.
KillSwitch: Want to come hunting with us?
Farglik: Okie.
[Farglik and the Autocamp 2000 join the hunt and gain experience
for several more hours...]
I'd call the experiment an unqualified success.
- Fargo
[PlanetFargo is posted every Friday on GameSpy.com, infuriating
everyone involved. Fargo also writes the Daily Victim, so go
there! Mail Fargo.]
--<cut>--
Mike "Talien" Tresca
RetroMUD Administrator
http://michael.tresca.net