On Tue, 9 May 2000, Kevin Scott London wrote:
> I wouldn't mind having Realms of Despair critiqued, game.org 4000.
It is attached below. Although I must say that you obviously don't
need much help attracting players.
> And I would be glad to do the same for you if you send me the address.
mud.dusk.org 7000
http://dusk.org/BloodDusk
Ola already hit the primary point, which was "too many confusing questions",
so you might want to skip over the account creation. I'd be more interested,
now, in hearing about any difficulties that a newbie might have navigating
the world, finding a guild, etc.
And now the critique:
Trying 216.251.47.10...
Connected to game.org.
Escape character is '^]'.
Alas ... you have entered the
R E A L M S O F D E S P A I R !
[snip]
By what name are you known (or "new" to create a new character):
####
# It's more common to use "start" because clients with speedwalking
# enabled will interpret "new" as north-east-west.
####
[ snip ]
####
# Cut out character creation. Very basic ROM-like class/race selection.
# Nothing wrong with it, but nothing special either.
# Also cut out: lots of fairly nice ANSI artwork which reminds me of my BBS
# days.
####
** You are about to enter our world of Despair, you must prepare
** yourself. Seek direction within the pages of your Guide, you **
** will receive it as you enter the game. Read everything around **
** you. Your immediate surroundings may give you clues to hidden **
** areas, treasures and creatures. Once you enter the game, type: **
** help start This will be your main guide to commands. When in **
** doubt, you may seek help from anyone involved with the Newbie **
** Council. Simply type: help NC To control the amount of **
** text sent to your screen, type: help pager **
####
# This is nice. You can't see it here, but some keywords ("guide",
# "help start"..) are highlighted, making the text much more parseable at
# a glance.
####
Enjoy your stay in our world, but don't ruin it for others.
Everyone must abide by the laws, no exceptions. Type: help laws
####
# Very reasonable.
####
Welcome to Realms of Despair...
Ominous Tapestries
You appear somehow within an arcane chamber. Huge hanging tapestries,
each intricately detailed in vibrant colors, cover the featureless walls
of your octagonal surroundings. Wide square bands of white marble serve
to blur the sharp edges of the walls, giving the room an almost circular
appearance. Gazing about your surroundings, your eye is drawn upward by
a much larger round tapestry hanging directly overhead, and you struggle
with your balance as you examine the fabric's images. The growing sense
of wonder which pulls at you is tinged with a dose of trepidation. The
views about you, while wondrous, are nevertheless quite ominous; these
images are of a truly darkened land.
Exits: down.
A spiral staircase leads down from center of the room, with an inscribed
golden plaque attached to its banister. [look plaque]
Your fingers outstretch as a glistening orb appears in your palm.
You hold the orb aloft, an eye of enlightenment to guide your way.
Familiar, yet somehow different, your being has changed:
A burlap sack is delivered into your hands. (type 'look sack')
<Type HELP START>
####
# Lots of stuff to parse, but still, gratutious use of color makes it
# reasonable to do so. Prompt is kind enough to lead you by the nose...
####
Saqirodax has entered the game.
As his fingers outstretch, a glistening orb appears in Saqirodax's palm.
Saqirodax holds the orb aloft, an eye of enlightenment to guide his way.
<Type HELP START>
Medekline has entered the game.
As his fingers outstretch, a glistening orb appears in Medekline's palm.
Medekline holds the orb aloft, an eye of enlightenment to guide his way.
Borlaxe has entered the game.
As his fingers outstretch, a glistening orb appears in Borlaxe's palm.
Borlaxe holds the orb aloft, an eye of enlightenment to guide his way.
Medekline leaves down.
Borlaxe has left the game.
####
# While I was trying to read the room description, several newbise came
# into the room and left, causing it to scroll off. Perhaps (and this
# is only relevant for such a busy mud) these messages should be visible
# only to the target.
# I type "l guide"..
####
Hello there! This is your Adventurer's guide to the Realms of Despair.
To read your guide, type "look book". Contained inside this guide is all
sorts of useful information, answers to often asked questions, and the
laws of the Realms. When you hold this guide, it improves your stats by
+1 int, +1 wis and +1 con. It will also help lower your armor class.
This is the third revision on the Guide Book, and the information is
as current as possible up to the printing date of November 20, 1996.
####
# Egad! Even if the info isn't out of date, you should probably update
# the date value there to make it look a little less ancient.
####
<Type HELP START>
A large shadow passes through the room as sounds cascade from above.
You look up and see the tapestry overhead...
Far above you make out several dragons flying though the grey-streaked
skies, and even a few smaller creatures, probably harpies, are out
stretching their wings. Most seem to not see this structure, nor
you watching their passage...
####
# Interesting. I finally give in and type "help start".
####
<Type HELP START>'NEW' 'NEWBIE' 'NEWBIECHAT' 'START' 'BEGIN'
If you are new to the Realms, here are a few help files that will help you
get acquainted with our world. Please remember that during peak times
we host upwards of 300 players online, so we have tried to make the help
system as detailed as possible for everyone's benefit:
GUIDE - Will help you learn to use your Adventurers Guide Book.
RULES - Will lead you through the laws of the land.
SPAM - Will explain what spam is, and why you should not do it.
CONFIG - Will teach you about our configuration menu.
SCORE - Will tell you about your character's personal score sheet.
MOVEMENT - Will teach you various commands for moving about the Realms.
OBJECTS - Will teach you various commands to use your equipment.
CONTAINER - Will teach you about using containers to hold belongings.
CHANNELS - Will teach you about communication with other players.
GROUP - Will help you with grouping with other adventurers.
COMBAT - Will teach you how to choose, start and stop a fight.
DEATH - Will tell you about the death experience in the Realms.
PRACTICE - Will teach you about training spells, skills, and weapons.
INFORMATION - Will cover ways to find certain types of information.
PORTAL - Will cover portals and how they can be dangerous.
To use these files, type HELP <topic>. Type 'help' for general commands.
####
# Straightforward. I browse a few help files; looks like standard stuff,
# so I proceed with ye most important newbie command: "who"
####
<21hp 112m 99mv>
You must specify at least one argument.
Use 'who 1' to view the entire who list.
####
# Oh, okay..."who 1"
####
Avatar Jarax is on loan for guard duty. <Guild of Mages>
16 Mage Gaol!.
26 Warrior Quaph has 9 portals left (read bio).
Avatar Karaa brewing.
Avatar Ienna is running..Away!.
10 Ranger Qillin Parchments 'n RECALLS for the Pixie Nation [PN].
Avatar Feraa brewing, will SAC all portals left on the ground!.
Avatar Geoffrey is proud to be GoP's donation security guard. <Guild of Paladins>
[snip snip snip snip snip]
367 players.
####
# AAGGGGHH! My poor company's DSL (overloaded during the day) bogs down for
# thirty seconds or so as the who scrolls by.
# As it finally recovers, I see that we're look at close to 400 players
# online.
# Suggestion: make "who" by itself print the number of players, so that
# those poor folks playing on modems have half a chance.
####
<21hp 112m 100mv> Ok.
An Unsettling Reception
Muted sounds and the scent of cedar assail your senses as you enter this
stately chamber. Thick carpeting competes with leathered chairs in a bid
for your comfort, and a huge painting of a barren desert occupies the wall
behind a large desk of oak. Four small luminescent globes float aimlessly
about the room, and you notice that though seemingly free floating these
globes always manage to remain equidistant from one another. The huge
bust of a fantastical lizard has been set upon the wall, an amazing
hunting trophy of some sort.
Exits: north up.
A spiral staircase leads upward from the middle of the room.
The Realms of Despair hostess is here to greet you.
Samylla is shrouded in flowing shadow and light.
Samylla smiles at you.
Samylla says 'Welcome to the Realms of Despair reception chamber, Athelstane.'
Samylla says 'You have yet to enter the actual game, but will soon...'
Please take the time to read everything you see along the way.
- use Newbiechat to speak to the Immortals for assistance:
- type "new <message>" to use the channel.
Please, look around -- just type 'look <object>'. (look bust)
<21hp 112m 99mv> Ok.
The Path of Knowledge
You travel upon an open pathway beyond the confines of the reception area
to the south, heading toward your future. After a time, you see a stocky
man leaning casually against a large tree to the side of road. Your path
leads on to the north, or you can return to the structure to the south.
Exits: north south somewhere.
Towering beside the pathway is an enormous tree, a large opening at its base.
The statistics teacher, Xouwasi, sits here to guide you toward the Realms.
Xouwasi bows before you.
Xouwasi says 'You appear to be a visitor, Athelstane.'
He continues 'Let me teach you a few helpful commands...'
Xouwasi says 'Type "look <item>" or "look <name>" to see things here.'
... I may "look Athelstane" to see you, or "look tree" to see this tree.
Xouwasi says 'Type 'eq' to check your equipment (items you are wearing).'
... to see your unused belongings, type 'inventory' or 'i'
... to display your statistics sheet, type 'score' or 'ol'
Xouwasi says 'Type 'look guide' for more detailed information.'
Xouwasi directs your gaze to the tree...
On the face of the huge tree is a large opening, easily wide enough for
you to enter. (type 'opening' or 'enter' to enter the tree)
<21hp 112m 98mv> Inside the Tree
This is a small house, sparsely decorated. It looks as if the dwarf who
resides here prefers to spend all his time outside rather then indoors.
The table is covered with a few dishes and the bed is unmade, though the
rest of the place is relatively clean. Against the north wall you see a
large chest. Upon closer inspection you see the chest is open, and you
wonder what it might contain... you can 'leave' back to the path.
Exits: somewhere.
A large opening in the trunk of the tree leads back onto the pathway.
A weaponry chest lies against the northernmost wall.
<21hp 112m 99mv> A weaponry chest contains:
A finely honed weapon lies here, waiting to be carried into battle.
You get a menacing granitic blade from a weaponry chest
A droplet of blood falls from the dark blade as you grasp the hilt.
<21hp 112m 99mv> You are using:
<used as light> (Glowing) an eye of enlightenment
<wielded> a menacing granitic blade
<held> The Adventurer's Guide to the Realms of Despair
<21hp 112m 99mv> Of rough but usable quality, it should serve you well in your early years.
<21hp 112m 99mv> Inside the Tree
This is a small house, sparsely decorated. It looks as if the dwarf who
resides here prefers to spend all his time outside rather then indoors.
The table is covered with a few dishes and the bed is unmade, though the
rest of the place is relatively clean. Against the north wall you see a
large chest. Upon closer inspection you see the chest is open, and you
wonder what it might contain... you can 'leave' back to the path.
Exits: somewhere.
A large opening in the trunk of the tree leads back onto the pathway.
A weaponry chest lies against the northernmost wall.
<21hp 112m 99mv> The Path of Knowledge
You travel upon an open pathway beyond the confines of the reception area
to the south, heading toward your future. After a time, you see a stocky
man leaning casually against a large tree to the side of road. Your path
leads on to the north, or you can return to the structure to the south.
Exits: north south somewhere.
Towering beside the pathway is an enormous tree, a large opening at its base.
The statistics teacher, Xouwasi, sits here to guide you toward the Realms.
Xouwasi smiles at you.
Xouwasi says 'I see you found my home.'
If you did not examine the chest, you might go back and do so.
####
# Now this is cool. The newbie area is (mostly) leading you by the nose
# through the hoops that you'll need to know (moving around, opening doors,
# getting objects. Even though it's completely left to the player to control
# their own pace, they are given HEAVY guidance and there's very little chance
# that they'll screw up. An experienced mudder can make it through this
# area in fairly little time. In the meantime, it provides the player
# with something to kill time while the gods approve your name...
# You are also given the pk/no pk switch choice here:
####
[snip]
in the way of assistance to pkillers. (type 'laws pkill')
- If you understand this, and wish to walk the path of the deadly, type:
"say I choose to walk the shadowy path of pkillers."
- If you understand this, and wish to remain on the peaceful path, type:
"say I choose to walk the lighted path of the peaceful."
Exits: south.
To the right of the path, a plaque is embedded in a boulder (look plaque)
<21hp 112m 100mv> You say 'I choose to walk the shadow path of the pkillers.'
####
# Grrr...
####
<21hp 112m 100mv> You say 'I choose to walk the shadowy path of the pkillers.'
Ok.
You are now a Deadly Character ...
[snip]
####
# A few complaints at this point: the game seems to do a lot "automatically"
# for me, including picking up objects, and other hidden things that I
# can't see other than constant "Ok." messages spit at me. I like this
# newbie area a lot, but it's getting close to overload, between the massively
# long room descriptions and all the stuff that NPCs say to you when you
# walk in.
####
###
# Combat...
####
<21hp 112m 100mv>
A serpent jolts you!
a serpent sinks its fangs painfully into your flesh!
Your pierce gashes a serpent!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
<20hp 112m 97mv>
A serpent wounds you!
a serpent sinks its fangs painfully into your flesh!
Your pierce mauls a serpent!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
<19hp 112m 94mv>
You parry a serpent's attack.
A serpent misses you.
Your pierce _cleaves_ a serpent!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
<19hp 112m 91mv>
A serpent wounds you!
Your pierce misses a serpent.
<18hp 112m 88mv>
A serpent wounds you!
Your pierce rends a serpent!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
<17hp 112m 85mv>
A serpent wounds you!
A serpent wounds you!
You parry a serpent's attack.
Your pierce _devastates_ a serpent!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
<15hp 112m 82mv>
A serpent injures you!
a serpent sinks its fangs painfully into your flesh!
Your pierce _cleaves_ a serpent!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
<14hp 112m 79mv>
A serpent injures you!
a serpent sinks its fangs painfully into your flesh!
Your pierce _cleaves_ a serpent!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
A serpent is DEAD!!
You receive 31 experience points.
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
A piece of meat is torn from the serpent as it dies.
A serpent hits the ground ... DEAD.
You get 500 gold coins from the corpse of a serpent
You get a piece of meat from the corpse of a serpent
####
# Pretty standard diku combat (*yawn*), but certainly not the worst I've
# seen. At least you're not fighting squirrels!
# For that matter all the newbie stuff is pretty nice; no practice swords
# or newbie vests, you get cool weapons and nice looking rings and armor and
# stuff. Good touch.
####
The MUD Administrators have accepted the name Athelstane.
You are authorized to enter the Realms at the end of this area.
####
# Whee!
####
<21hp 112m 82mv> Ok.
Inside a Small Cabin
Various scents assail you as you enter the cabin. The smell of cooked meats
is overlaid with the scents of a crackling fire and the gentle tang of pine.
Simple, well-made furniture adorns this well kept home. As your eyes move
about, enjoying the rustic comfort of your surroundings, the gentle sound
of a rocking chair intrudes upon your reverie.
Exits: north.
A wise man is here, rocking himself on a beautiful chair.
Quercusi glows with an aura of divine radiance.
Quercusi smiles at you.
Quercusi says 'Hello, Athelstane, welcome to my home.'
Quercusi asks you, 'Do you have the following items?'
... a weapon from a chest in a tree.
... a Shield of Scales from the dragon hatchling in the cave.
... a ring from the end of your chosen path.
... also a feather, a bucket and the meat of a serpent.
If you missed any of these and would like to retrieve them, or
if you would like to return to choose the Peaceful path, simply
give me your ring. (type 'give ring man')
####
# Wow, this is excellent. Not only do you get a chance to change your
# mind in a very game-integrated way, but there's a little newbie-quest-thingy
# going on here. It's very simple, almost linear but not completely,
# and reasonable for just about anyone to be able to solve it. I expect
# that a mud newbie might end up spending twenty or more minutes solving
# it, whereas I was able to go through in less than five. Very nice!
####
<17hp 112m 77mv> A View of the Realms
You find yourself standing atop a wide, balconied plateau which offers a
spectacular view over its edge, as if the whole of the world were spread
out before you. A patchwork of light and dark, the lands below seem at
once wondrous and haunting. Expectation permeates the air, and you feel
compelled to do something ... as though some force awaits your actions.
Exits: west.
A tasseled rope dangles from the heavens above. [look rope]
A large golden key lies here, it looks to open something important.
Type 'pull rope' if your name was accepted to enter the game.
<17hp 112m 74mv> You pull a tasseled rope.
From high overhead, a large bell thunders in response.
If nothing happens, type LOOK ROPE, and pull again in 30 seconds.
The gods permit you to enter the Realms of Despair.
####
# Hmmmm.. probably should do a little custom coding to change that "If nothing
# happens" bit to only print if nothing actually does happen, and not at all
# if so.
####
####
# Anyhow...I wander around for a bit, practice skills, etc. Starting to hit
# information overload with the number of people running around, global
# communications, long room descriptions, long skill lists, and so forth.
####
<23hp 115m 59mv>
Torelle arrives from the east.
Merios arrives from the east.
The street peddler says 'Come and see the wondrous wares I have to sell, Merios!'
Rachab arrives from the east.
Aquan flies in from the east.
Bubel flies in from the east.
Reorx flies in from the east.
Verie flies in from the east.
Lonan arrives from the east.
####
# Probably a mud this size should look into some ways to reduce spam.
# One thing would be to do the AnotherMUD-style group arrival:
# "Torelle's group arrives from the east."
# alternately:
# "Torelle, Merios, Rachab, Aquan, Bubel, Reorx, Verie, and Lonan arrive from the east."
####
<23hp 115m 59mv> Justice Road
You travel down an eerie portion of Justice Road. In the forest to the
south you can hear strange chants to Thoric. The mysterious melody sends
shivers down your spine, making you wonder who would sing such a song in
a city of peace and goodness. Justice Road stretches east and west.
Exits: east west.
A poor man paces here, trying to sell what he has found.
####
# list
###
You can't buy anything here.
####
# con man
####
You are not nearly as experienced as the street peddler.
The street peddler looks weaker than you.
####
# Ah hah, no problem. I was beating up serpents and dragon hatchlings back
# in the newbie area, and this guy isn't a "real" shopkeeper and therefore
# should be immune to special protection...
####
<23hp 115m 59mv> Your pierce decimates the street peddler!
The Favor of Gravoc fosters your learning.
<23hp 115m 57mv>
The street peddler *** ANNIHILATES *** you!
####
# Doh. And I thought my "_cleaves_" and "devestates" were strong before.
# I always forget how out of control the damage messages get on your
# average HnS mud...
# I hang out at -10 for a while...
####
<-10hp 115m 57mv>
Score for Athelstane the Fallen.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
LEVEL: 2 Race : Drow Played: 0 hours
YEARS: 17 Class: Nephandi Log In: Tue May 16 18:16:10 2000
STR : 15(14) HitRoll: 8 Saved: no save this session
INT : 18(18) DamRoll: 3 Time: Tue May 16 18:34:07 2000
WIS : 13(13) Armor: improper for adventure
DEX : 16(15) Align: ignoble Items: 00005 (max 00005)
CON : 12(12) Pos'n: mortally wounded Weight: 00024 (max 0000170)
CHA : 09(09) Wimpy: 0
LCK : 15(15) Style: standard
Glory: 0000(0000)
PRACT: 000 Hitpoints: -10 of 44 Pager: ( ) 24 AutoExit(X)
XP : 3393 Mana: 115 of 115 MKills: 00002 AutoLoot(X)
GOLD : 1,501 Move: 57 of 112 Mdeaths: 00000 AutoSac ( )
You feel great.
####
# I do?
####
<-10hp 115m 57mv>
..Everything begins to fade to black. You feel yourself leaving your body.
Rising up into the air, you feel more free than you have ever felt before...
However, before your deity comes to collect your soul, you feel a strange
pulling sensation as strange and colorful mists swirl around you...
A low voice fills your head with words of advice...
"When your character dies, you are reincarnated at the cathedral of Notre
Dame de Sioux in New Darkhaven; should you one day become a member of a
clan, guild or order you will be returned to your own altar."
"Your corpse, however, is left behind where you were killed, together with
all of your equipment, so that you can attempt to return to the scene and
loot your corpse. Your gold stays with you. Corpses decay after time,
and when this happens the objects inside will decay with it."
"Once you have chosen a deity and gained sufficient favor, you may be able
to supplicate to your deity for your corpse. Type 'help death' for more
information. This message will appear only on your first two deaths..."
That's someone else's corpse.
That's someone else's corpse.
####
# Okay, now I'm getting confused. Too much text, too much information.
# And "that's someone else's corpse"?!
####
<1hp 115m 57mv>
Sonoria utters the word 'nran'.
Your light wounds mend and your pain ebbs slightly.
<24hp 115m 57mv>
####
# Ah, nice of her.
# I wander for a bit, find the peddler again, but not my corpse.
# Run out of moves, so...I quit.
####
A strange voice says, 'We await your return, Athelstane...'
#################
#
Heh. Well. Not exactly my cup of tea (over-the-top dikumud), but it
is VERY well done for what it is. The newbie area is definitely the
best of its type that I've ever seen; getting into the game in general
is quite easy. Which probably explains their large playerbase.
I only have two major complaints. One is text overload. The other is
that I wasn't easily able to find a "why should I play this mud?" type
listing. Although very well done, I didn't spot much of anything that
would make this mud stand out from any other large HnS mud. The skills
list contained the usual stuff ("long blades", "berserk", "defensive
stance").
All in all, though, this mud definitely nails the newbie introduction quite
well. I plan to shamelessly steal some of your ideas as soon as I've got
some time for it.
Adam